Formspring Friday #4

Was inspired to continue answering these Formspring questions while riding a taxi and hearing yet another person with love issues call a radio dj to ask for advice, while the dj played mocking noises in the background, finally capping it off with a playing of Victims of Love. I felt sad for this person who obviously needed help (or wanted attention. Maybe both.) and had to receive this kind of treatment to get it.

In saying this I mean no offense at all against DJ’s who give out love advice, especially the ones who are trained and motivated beyond putting on a good show to really providing a service to others. I remember meeting Joe D’Mango this year and found him to be wise and helpful.

Anyway… Here’s Formspring #4

Hi pastor Joseph, how would you define submission in marriage. And you said that in relationship both of you should know about what your partner needs. What if husband doesnt care about what you want. he Loves you the way he wants, not the way I want. Thx

The Bible gives us clear instructions of what submission means, I think.

Ephesians 5:22-24 “22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

And 1 Peter gives helpful ideas for wives whose husbands are less than perfect:

1 Peter 3:1-2 “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”


prt.Joe, may tym po ba na sobrang nag selos kayo because may mas pogi pang nanligaw kay mam rica? or may nalaman kayo crush ni mam rica?

Yes! As I started to like her, I began noticing other guys who seemed interested as well. But I knew that jealousy wouldn’t be healthy. And more importantly, I had no right since she wasn’t mine. That’s why I married her. I gave myself to her and she gave herself to me. Now she’s mine. Mwahaha!


Pastor in surrendering 100 % fully to God should I break up with my boyfriend even thought my boyfriend is a man of God??

Is God telling you to do that? A boyfriend who is a man of God can help you pursue Him better. But it can also be a hindrance. When God talks to you – through the Bible, through godly people who give you advice, through circumstances, and through the Holy Spirit using your own mind, common sense, and peace – what is He saying?


Hi Pastor, I have a friend in school who would backstab me yet she would be very sweet to me whenever we’re together. I don’t know if I should leave her or just stick with her. What would you do? 🙁

You’re asking me what I’d do, so here’s what I’ve done in the past. If the person is a real friend who I want to stay close with still, I talk to them and ask them if they really said what I heard about. Basically, I’m giving them an opportunity to come clean and we can be reconciled.

But there also times when the person doesn’t seem like they want to work on it. At that point, I do what I have to to protect myself – like I won’t open up sensitive information to them anymore because I don’t know where it will go. It can be sad, but it takes two people to make a friendship work, and someone who continues to backstab you isn’t a friend.


Pastor,I just want to thank you for inspiring people with your words. Indeed, God’s love can transform anyone. I really need to ask this, how did you fully accept your wife’s past? Is it difficult? I really admire Ate Rica and how GOD changed her!:)

I love this question. I love it because it’s one of the most beautiful pictures of what Jesus did for us. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

In Christ” means a person who has put their faith in Jesus to cover over their sins. Jesus died on the Cross taking the death we were suppose to die for our own sins.

New creation” means that for those who believe in Jesus, every bad thing has been taken away from them and replaced with the perfection of Jesus. So to be honest, I don’t need to accept my wife’s past because that’s not her. What she is is a daughter of God, beautiful, flawless, lovely inside and out. Anything that seems to be reminiscent of that past is a temporary thing and as we follow God together, her true identity becomes more and more clear.


hi! i was the one who asked the question abt dating, and thank u for answering it 🙂 do u agree that one should only start dating when u think you’re prepared for marriage? 🙂

Well, that’s what I did. I don’t think it’s automatically wrong to date without marriage in mind. I just find it pointless and an unnecessary temptation to sin.
If you want to ask questions, you can click this link. You can also read this very helpful resource.

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