Formspring Friday #5: Yay! Not just relationship questions!

Pastor! kailan ba ang tamang panahon para manligaw? (When is the right time to court someone?)

I’m assuming you’re a guy because I’ve only heard this question from guys.

Dating is only a recent social invention and is meant to be a transitory stage into the beauty of marriage that God designed for us.

I don’t think there’s an actual time frame, but more of who are you and what are you ready for. Like my dad told me, and I tell the young men you disciple, the hardest part about chasing a woman isn’t the chase, but what you do if you catch her. Are you ready to love her by dying to yourself now, the way Jesus did for us? (Ephesians 5:25)

So my recommendation, and this only a recommendation not a biblical, all-encompassing rule, is to begin thinking about dating, courting, or whatever when you’ve thought about what comes after and you’re looking for this stage to lead into that.  


Hi,ptr.joe!iam really blessed with your love story. How did you overcome temptations? Was it difficult for you and carla to keep your purity before marriage?

Oh yeah! One reason is coz she’s really hot. But more than that, my old sinful nature keeps trying to drag me back into someone God didn’t make me to be.

We were able to overcome by first realizing that because of Jesus, this sinful tendency is powerless. It seems like the urges are strong, but really they’ve been beaten and crushed by Jesus already. Secondly, we constantly asked the Holy Spirit to help us as we fight these temptations. We’d remind each other of the stand we made and how much more beautiful God’s plans for us were than the promise of illicit sex. Thirdly, we worked out these spiritual truths into practical steps: get counsel and accountability from others, don’t put ourselves in compromising situations (two of us alone for extended periods of time in a room, etc).


Good day pastor Joseph! How do you become a missionary? My husband and I have been contemplating on joining the field and volunteering but we are having second thoughts especially when it comes to leaving our jobs (bills, support for family, etc.)…

There are so many ways people become vocational ministers. So it’ll be hard to be very specific here. I think generally, at least for our movement, just volunteer first. Serve somewhere, anywhere. (Every Christian should be doing that anyway.)

And if God’s calling you to do it full-time, you’ll know and so will the people around you. And if He is calling you do it, He’ll take care of the finances. Just like He will for any other vocation – business people, academics, manual laborers, etc.

Super thank you for not asking a relationship related question.


Why did you decide against collating your podcast in one site?

Good question. Maybe I’ll start it up again. I just thought it was too much work.


Hi Pastor Joseph! Have you ever had a money issue with Carla? How do you manage if the wife has more money than the husband before marriage? Thanks!

From what I’ve learned from much wiser, much more mature, and much more experienced couples, there are different ways that marriages handle money. But there are biblical principles we can follow that can guide us.

Personally, Carla and I agreed that I would provide for our needs and she would work and make money for extra stuff. So we’ve decided to live entirely on what I bring in. This allows me to lead in a way that is helpful for both of us. And she doesn’t have the burden of sustaining the family financially.

You’re right in saying that she had more money than me before getting married, but now that we are one, we see it as one account. But I still don’t touch it, unless she volunteers it for special things like helping her family, giving to a specific need of someone else, or investing for the future.


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