My wife and I are speaking on Sex at the Victory Fort youth service later. It’s our first time to be preaching on that subject alone and we’re pretty excited. I’ll be sure to post a link from the podcast when we’re done, probably on Monday next week.
As we talked about our different perspectives on it – as a man and as a woman, as someone who was a virgin when we got married and as someone with multiple relationships in the past – we realized that much of this generation’s fascination with sex is driven by a feeling that says, “I don’t want to miss out. I don’t want to miss out on pleasure. I don’t want to miss out on love. I don’t want to miss out on what everyone else seems to be doing.”
And this notion isn’t found in sex alone. It can drive us at work – “If I don’t do well, I’ll miss the window for my promotion.”
Or in finding a partner for life – “What if that person who just got down from the jeep is my soulmate?! How will I ever find that person again??? I better marry the next person who fancies me.”
Or in looking for a job – “I need to pull that other person down, because if they get the promotion, there will be less for me.”
In fact, this feeling of missing out is what motivated the very first humans to disobey God and sin. Here’s the lie as recorded in the Bible,
Genesis 3:4-5 “You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
God knows there’s something great out there. And for whatever reason, He isn’t giving it to you. It’s time to take it for yourself. It’s the fear of missing out, the fear of being passed over. I can’t trust that I’m gonna get it so I’ll do what I can, cross whatever boundary, use anyone, the consequences be damned as long as I get what’s mine.
The girl having sex coz she doesn’t want to lose the guy, the office worker pulling down his officemates because he wants to ensure his promotion, the teenager rebelling from his parents to be more like his barkada – they’re all driven by this idea. This is such a normal part of our thought process that we lapse into it automatically, thinking it’s normal.
So it really isn’t a question of sex, money, love, or whatever. Ultimately, it goes back to your view of God and His ordering of the universe. Here’s the question you can grapple with:
Is your God the kind of God who will withhold good gifts from those He loves?
Is your God the kind who will create something you need and desperately want and still maliciously, sadistically decide He doesn’t want you to have it? You might ask, how can we be sure He loves us?
Let’s be clear. This isn’t anything we deserve or earn. It’s not like God owes us anything. Before we shake our first at Heaven, asking for more money, a love life, or an iPad, let’s remember that if we got what we really deserve we’d be in Hell now. Conversation over. But because He loves us, Jesus died for our sins, we are forgiven and have a new life.
But wait! There’s more!
Romans 8:31-32 31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
If God would give His own Son to die for us when we least deserve, would He really withhold everything else we need from us? Would He really say, “I’ll send Jesus to be tortured, beaten, humiliated, to pay for your horrible sins. But you want a love life? Sobra ka na ah…”
As a high school and college student, I remember the external and internal pressure to start dating and start having sex. I still remember the weird looks that people gave when they asked about my decisions. As if wearing glasses since I was 9 and braces for all of high school weren’t weird enough.
I’d also feel the pressure to act from within. “What if they’re right? What if I am missing out? What if I won’t know how to have sex when I’m married because I’m not practicing now? It’s like this is all one big inside joke and I’m the only one on the outside!”
During those moments, I’m thankful for friends and spiritual family who helped remind me that I wasn’t alone. I’m grateful for people who went ahead of me who set an example.
But the most important thing they did was remind me of the kind of God we have.
I wasn’t missing out in obeying Him. He knows what I need, He knows what I want, and He wants the best for me. And if I ever doubt that, I need only look at Jesus and what He did for us. If He would do that for me at my worst, surely everything else – a healthy sex life, a great and fulfilling job, whatever material things I’d need – He will take care of as well.
As my wife said so brilliantly yesterday, “I hope all the single people here realize that they don’t need to wish for a love life. Because they have a love life. They are loved by Jesus, and the rest will follow at the right time.”
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not changelike shifting shadows.
Matthew 7:11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
If you’re in Christ, stop being afraid of missing out. Obey Him in faith that even though the entire world conspired against you, it could not prevent the good things that God has prepared for you! You won’t miss a thing.
If you don’t know Him that way, you can. Read the verses I wrote above. Talk to someone who does. Message me. Come to one of our meetings. We’ll let you know about this hope we have that you can to.