There’s a difference between loving someone and being “in love” with someone. Loving someone involves action, decision, commitment and feelings. Being “in love” is just the feeling.
I used to think that being “in love” wasn’t a biblical concept but I was wrong. It does appear in the Bible. The Bible uses the phrase “fell in love” twice in the NIV translation to describe two particularly passionate men who fell in love with beautiful women.
The first is in Judges 16:4, “Some time later, he fell in love with a woman in the Valley of Sorek whose name was Delilah.”
Short Version: Samson fell in love with Delilah and against the instructions of his parents and the wisdom of the culture he grew up in, he went for her. Later she turned him over to his enemies for money. He already knew along the way that she was only using him, but he wasn’t thinking. How could he? He was in love.
The second is in 2 Samuel 13:1, “In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David.”
Short Version: Amnon fell in love with his half sister. He looked frustrated and tired all the time because his emotions were out of control. Acting on the advice of a devious friend, he tricked her into being alone with him and raped her. It gets worse.
2 Samuel 13:15 Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!”
He had her thrown out of his house by the servants. His actions would eventually get him killed and would lead to a civil war in Israel. But then, who can blame him? He was in love when it happened.
Falling in love doesn’t mean anything on its own. The feelings alone aren’t worth anything. Anyone can have feelings. If we base our decisions on feelings alone, we’ll make the mistake of these men:
- Like Samson, we’ll be blind to wrong decisions and choices. The results will be more painful than the “love” we thought we had.
- Like Amnon, we’ll be surprised by how quickly those loving feelings can evaporate. A person who says they can’t control their infatuation will also be unable to control his selfishness, lust, and rage.
Often these two combine when both people are just “in love.” One is like Amnon, using the other for their own gain. The other is like Samson, playing a blind eye to it all.
Girls, if a guy says he’s so in love with you that he can’t control himself, be very wary. That won’t be the last time he’ll use that excuse. And next time, you might not be the one he’s confessing his feelings to.
If the need to do something NOW is so urgent, ask yourself, “Is this person still doing these things for me or for himself?”
If he says he can’t sleep, he can’t walk properly, or that his stomach lurches, that’s not a sign of true love. It might just be nausea or diarrhea. So try Bonamine or Diatabs.
Being in love isn’t bad. I’ve felt it. It was strong and seemingly uncontrollable. I was nervous and silly. It was an emotional rollercoaster!
But it’s not enough. It has to lead to something more. In my next blog we’ll see what that is.